Nino @ Cease Cows, Life is Short posted this & i just had to re-post it here (she kindly gave her permission to do so – Thanks Nino!)
For those of you with kids – which of these have you used on your kids?
For those without kids – which of these did your parents use on u?
i have use some of these – some with intended results, others not – haven’t used the whole list – of cos, my little guy is only 3.5 – so there’s still time to get to them all – hehhehhehe 😉
But on a serious note, i was reminded some time last week that we can’t be too much of a mean mum – we need to be nice mum too – find the balance? Hmmm… easier said than done!! Anyhow, we try our best – right?
1. The Analyst – “Is that REALLY how you want to be?” Other variations include but are not limited to, “Is that really necessary?” and “Must you continue that [insert offending behavior here]?”
2. The Martyr – “I was not put on this earth to endure your ABUSE!”
3. The Delegator – “JUST YOU WAIT UNTIL YOUR FATHER COMES HOME!”
4. The Hugger – “Awww, you’re upset aren’t you, pigeon? Come tell Mommy what’s wrong.”
(Note: This one really works but it requires saint-like patience and an enormous amount of self-restraint)
5. The Ass-Whooper – Also known as the giver of THE LOOK, she doesn’t really have to inflict physical pain so much as imply the threat of it to make you re-think your foolish antics. My Mom was an absolute pro at this one.
(Note: very effective when combined with the toss of a lightweight shoe in the general direction of the offending child or children, purely for dramatic effect.)
6. The Comedian – She will mercilessly mock and mimic your antics until you can’t help but laugh and see the error of your dumbassed ways.
(Note: See #4’s note.)
7. The Sergeant – With classics such as, “GO TO YOUR ROOM,” “BECAUSE I SAID SO” and “END OF DISCUSSION,” she can immediately shut you down with military precision.
(Note: If you’re good, you won’t need a whistle or bullhorn, your expert projection alone will strike the fear of God in ’em.)
8. The Cryer – :::sobs with head in hands::: “You kids are out to DESTROY me, aren’t you? Please, I beg of you… :::trails off into even louder sobs:::
9. The Stonewaller – She’ll silent-treat you into submission.
10. The Patronizer – Known for such classics as “Think of all the starving children in Africa!” and “There are plenty of disadvantaged children who would LOVE to have your ‘problems’!”
Care to add any others to the list?