The previous two weekends have been busy busy busy… so it was a nice change this weekend to have nothing going on and just be… well, almost… Tobias did have a birthday party to go to but that left mummy and daddy free to just do some shopping for self 😉
So what kept us busy the last two weekends? Here’s the scoop.
The weekend of September 1st: we attended Walter’s colleague’s wedding apero (that’s the reception for those not familiar with the Swiss term). It’s a rather casual thing, not a big dress-up do like in Asia. The only people who do dress-up is the bridal party. Everyone else comes in smart casual at the very most, it is also acceptable to come in jeans and t-shirt. The basic idea is to come and celebrate with the happy couple and wish them well.
Isn’t it cute how the guests formed a little passage with flowers tied to hoops?
i like that idea – no pressure to dress to the 9’s and simply enjoy the party and the company. It was nice since Walter’s firm did away with the company ski weekend, i haven’t been able to meet and know Walter’s colleagues better.
Plus point – we went without Tobias as he had a birthday party to attend that weekend (yes, this is birthday season for his class). So an afternoon of mummy and daddy time.
We came home and rested for a bit and then were off to a musical evening. We were invited by Tobias’ violin teacher to hear him play in an ensemble. They presented music from the 1800s. It was quite lovely. It was a short one hour and a bit event. There was coffee, tea and cakes if you so desired.
This was a little hall above a sort of community centre. Such a nice cosy environment to listen to lovely music 🙂
i love the fact that there are many of these little musical or artistic events are held in and around the little villages here. And there is no expensive entrance fees; just a small donation is asked for. This is truly bringing music and the arts to the community.
The weekend of September 8th: Well, there was our wedding anniversary (read about it here). That morning, i had a Day Away for Women seminar to attend. So that was a full Saturday.
On Sunday, we were invited to a 100-year party. Tobias’ schoolmate’s family of 5 added up their ages and it equalled 100. So it was an excuse to celebrate 😉 We went and had a good time, getting to know some of our Swiss neighbours better.
The family was able to rent an entire villa for the party! It is part of a cultural quartier in Bern and the big house is open for rental. There was a lovely playground and chalets on the other side of the compound as well.
The whole compound and the first level of the big house was available for use.The kids had an absolute ball, with so much space to run around and stuff to play with.
The weather was simply beautiful – one last warm weekend before the autumn cold hits in full force.
That pretty much wraps up our busy weekend. Glad to have some normal and quiet this weekend.
Wishing you a good week ahead.
Imagine – laying on your back, close your eyes and enjoying the sunshine on your face.
Celebrating 10 years of marriage – photo by Tobias
…yep, 10 years… 6 days ago we celebrated our 10th Wedding Anniversary!
Now 10 years is nothing compared to the 40 years my parents have been married and is definitely a mere wink in time compared to my in-laws who have been married more than 50 years. But it has been a decade and worth celebrating and so we did.
Now those of you who know my husband well, know that he is not the romantic sort and not into celebrations as much as i am. So it would be no surprise to you that i had to state, in no uncertain terms, to my husband that i fully expect a celebration of sorts. i left the details to him… hmmm… maybe i should have been more specific?
Oh, don’t get me wrong – it was a good effort on his part and i fully appreciate it. But he decided to keep where we were going a surprise. Normally if we were leaving together from the house that would be fine. But i had a seminar to organise and attend that morning and had assume i would be able to get home and change before we set off for the celebration dinner.
Nope. He called me after i finished and asked if i could take the train directly to Geneva – he was 5 minutes too late with that call. i was already on the train, heading home. So it was decided i would meet him and the boy at our train station. Now why was all this a problem?
Because i was wearing the wrong shoes – i was wearing my “transport-to-chair” 4 inch ankle boots (only for the 3rd time) and these boots were definitely NOT made for walking. However, walk we did as we were early for the dinner.
The 5 dishes we ordered… we ate a bit before i remember to take the photo… hehhee 😉
Where did we go? We went to the Singapore restaurant in Geneva, called Jeck (i think). It is located fairly near the main train station but it was in a neighbourhood i consider to be a little shady. The servers were really nice and the variety on the menu good. We only ordered a few dishes as it was just the 3 of us.
The Mulligatawny soup was not bad, a little too peppery for my taste (personal preference). The spring roll was more Vietnamese style than Singaporean, which i quite like. The duck was ok, the fish good and the claypot tofu average. It was a good overall dining experience.
But we think it is a little too far for us to get to. We literally took the train there, had dinner and had to take the train home or it would be too late for the boy. Also we think that in terms of food taste and variety, the Singapore Restaurant in Zurich is a little better and not as far away from us.
Now some of you might ask, “10 years huh? Any words of wisdom?”
Sigh! Words of wisdom i think not but i will share you with what i have learnt personally in 10 years of marriage.
1) Pick Your Fights – that’s right, it is not worth fighting about who left the toilet seat up or who should clean up after dinner. Save your energy for the big ones – such as what colour to paint the walls… hehhehee… no, just kidding. Seriously though, you need to think about what is worth fighting about – will your marriage or life together fall apart if you don’t bring this matter up? Does it bug you so much you can’t sleep?
2) Fight Fair – there is a right way to fight and a wrong way to fight. Never attack your spouse’s character or person. Point out specific behaviours and say how the behaviour itself makes you feel or how you perceive specific actions or spoken words. And keep the past in the past – no fair bringing up things you have not spoken about for months or years. You would not want your spouse to do that to you, so show the same courtesy.
3) Laugh Together – lots of laughter is good for your health and for your marriage. Try your best to have more happy moments than upsetting ones. (something i learnt in our marriage counselling sessions) i always tell people that i married my husband because he makes me laugh. And it is true, i look at him and i can’t help smiling. It is one of the reasons i can’t stay angry with him for very long.
4) Be Encouraging – you like it when people tell you, “Well Done.” Just because you are married to the person doesn’t mean you stop telling that person how good he/she is at what he/she does. You will find that people tend to do more of the things people say they are good at. So if you want a spouse who helps out more with the housework, then bring on the showers of “Thank You. You are a great help.” for every little bit done.
5) Be Proud – boast of your spouse to others. And it doesn’t hurt if he/she happens to overhear the bragging. It’s nice to know you are appreciated and overhearing such praise will bring sunshine to anyone’s day which will shine and shine.
6) Be Alone – it is ok to be alone and do your own thing. You don’t have to do every single together, just because you are married. This used to upset me – i wanted so very much for us to share all of the same interests. We do have some shared interest but we enjoy different activities too, and it is ok. i write, i craft, i read, i photograph. He has his football, his various online newspapers, his guitar, his tech stuff. You have to learn to be yourself first before you can come together as a couple. i learnt that the hard way.
7) Be A Team of 3 – for us, this is very important; it is me, my husband and God. God plays a very important part in our lives. He is the third person in this marriage and God holds us together. Our faith in Jesus Christ binds us together.
Oh one more thing, having a kid does root you to the ground more and it helps put a perspective on your life and your marriage…
Well, i’m almost certain that if you ask ten different people, you will likely get various answers, including the well-known and well-used “It depends…”
Depends on what? Well, lots of things – age of learner, hours and frequency of lessons, whether the language is used daily, whether the learner is using a method suited to him etc…
Plus, we are coming up to finishing our 10th year here in Switzerland! Yes, 10 years in September! Amazing, huh? Time has just flown by. i can still remember myself on that very first train ride from Zürich airport to Solothurn, a place that has been home for the last 3560 days (minus vacations). i remember being all excited and taking everything in with the eyes of a newborn babe. Then getting hit hard with the language barrier.
i have always found language learning to be quite difficult, even when i was in school and we had to learn a second language. (For my non-singaporean readers) In Singapore, the language of instruction in schools is English. Everyone is also required to learn a second language, usually based on your race or these days the language chosen by your inter-racial parents. So being Chinese, i learnt Chinese, or Mandarin as it is properly known. i was never very good at it even though i have had 13 years of study in it; always scraping by with just the minimum passing grade.
However, i take comfort in what Dr. Eaton says in her article:
“Learning a second language for 95 hours per year for six years will not lead to functional bilingualism and fluency in the second language. Expectations must be realistic.” (Archibald et al., 2007, p. 3)
OK, so i had twice that but still it was not a language i spoke outside of my Chinese class so i never progressed to “expert” level. Of course, i can converse in it. But i, personally, judge expertise in a language to mean that one can discuss politics , environmental issues and religion with ease. i can talk about the weather, shopping, children/school issues and general small talk, but that’s about all.
i think my German is at about the same level as my Chinese, maybe even better, as i can read in German better than i can in Chinese. (If you ever tried to learn Chinese, you will understand that without constant practice and exposure, reading Chinese is very very difficult. There is no guessing through phonetically trying to sound out the word. You just have to know the word.)
Look at all the German Language learning materials i have amassed over the years…
So how many hours of lessons did it take me to arrive at being conversational in German?
Let’s see, i have had roughly 6 years or a little more of weekly German instruction. 2 hours a week. Minus holidays. That’s about 76 hours a year for 6 years… equals 456 hours, give or take some.
In Dr. Eaton’s article, she puts up a very simplified way of calculating the time needed to become an expert in a language . Apparently, research experts have decided on the “10,000 hours to be an expert” rule for language learning. So i take comfort in that i will need another 9544 hours of classes till expert level.
But of course, this does not take into account other factors, such as learning method, ability, immersion etc…
My German did not make any significant leap until Tobias went to Kindergarten and i got to interact with other parents and the teacher on an almost daily basis in German. Then it clicked, the hours of lessons in crazy German grammar made some sense and my vocabulary was built up. And i found speaking the language no longer embarrassed me. i finally got the hang of it after i really put myself out there and immersed myself in hearing and using the language.
So what’s the point of this whole post?
Well, i wanted to encourage those who are struggling to learn a new language… hang in there, keep practicing, keep making mistakes and you will get there. Be brave, speak that language you are trying to learn, it’s the only way to get there. It took me many years and many hours of lessons to get to conversational (i’m really slow at languages.) so it will happen for you too – just keep using the language.
trippingdifferently 