It is a tradition – well, almost a tradition, depending on where you stand on making New Year’s Resolutions…
i’m not one for making resolutions; i used to, but i found myself disappointed with myself rather too quickly at not being able to keep them.
However, i found myself thinking about it when the clock chimed 12 midnight on 31st Dec and 2011 became 2012. And then again yesterday in the car, on the way to church.
i look back on 2011 and am very grateful for it, even the low points. But i realised that there was something missing – something which i have always missed since moving to a country where the lingua franca is not my mother tongue. i missed having meaningful conversations – conversations which moved me and the other person in deeper ways than just a chitchat about the weather or the children’s school day or where they were going for the next holiday. i want to be able to speak about matters which makes my heart beat and my mind soar; to share my strange ideas with another person besides my husband, who has been wonderful about listening to me jabber away but is a man of few words, which is not a bad thing; he has taught me to listen more and speak when it truly does matter. Nevertheless, i am a woman who loves to talk so that’s what i miss; someone to share insane thoughts with, to discuss issues with, to laugh about the stresses of the day with – to have meaningful conversations. Not just once in a few months but at least weekly.
Please do not be mistaken and think that i do not have friends here. i do and i do have good friends but they live a fair distance away and we don’t see each other very often. And the women i got to know who do live in my neighbourhood all speak either Swiss or German or Italian or French; and culturally we seem to have such different reference points that an eloquent, substantial exchange is just not easy. It is just not the same expressing myself in a foreign tongue. True, i do speak enough of the language now but still that level of communication i desire is not yet within reach.
So that’s my resolution for 2012 – to have more meaningful conversations with the women who live in my neighbourhood. This is not something i feel i can do by myself so i ask that God would help me to have these meaningful conversations in 2012. It may not sound like a resolution when i’m asking for divine help – of course i will work at it but i just know i need that little exact hand so God help me here. Thanks.
What are your new year resolutions?