Category: Family

This is the second post in my series dedicated to the memory of my Dad who has always been so central in my life.

Here is the second eulogy I gave during that second evening service of the wake:

This evening I would like to share some precious memories with you.

I remember:
We watched lots of Cantonese period series together – that’s where I learned Cantonese from. We used to be regulars at the video rental shop.

I remember:
He bought me various different cameras over the years and we would look at the photos we took together, discussing what makes a good photo. Because of his influence, I chose to specialise in photography for my diploma.

I remember:
He would talk about various significant historical events with me. He loved history and we would watch historical films together.

I remember:
He would take us across the whole island to get the best foods. Unfortunately, lots of these places are no longer there. He was a great cook, my mum is a fabulous cook. Many of you have tasted their wonderful cooking and most will remember his famous pork chops. Together, my dad and mum taught to cook, starting with frying the perfect sunny-side-up eggs.

I remember:
The underwater world was his paradise. Jacques Cousteau documentaries were a big part of my childhood. And as a family, we spent much time at beaches and pools.

I hope you would recall fondly the times you spent with my dad.

I remember so much more; his corny-Dad jokes, his love of thick, black coffee, his hidden talent for drawing. My earliest memory was of him standing tall like a tree and letting me climb up over him. Being a diver, we were taught to swim at a very young age and I was literally taken to the deep end and told to swim towards him. I absolutely love being in the water till this day.

I remember how he would teach me about things that were considered “boy-stuff”; remote-control cars, planes, climbing trees, and watching WWF. The one thing he believed in was that I should be able to take care of myself, especially as a girl. So he showed me how to punch, how to defend myself. He also trained me to know when I am at my limit with alcohol so I would not be taken advantage of.

I remember how he would always point out all the landmarks as he drove us from place to place. It gave me a good sense of direction and developed my love for driving and cars. I remember how much he loved the colour red and painted all the bedroom doors a bright red.

I remember, most of all, his sense of fun and zest for life.

We miss you, Daddy.

syc

This blog has been silent for a couple of months. I have shared the reason on a couple of other social media platforms but not here.

My dad went into hospital at the end of October 2022 and was very ill. He passed away 13 Dec 2022, in his sleep, at Tan Tock Seng Hospital in Singapore.

I have not been able to say very much on social media, except to post the wake and funeral announcements.

It has been a month. There have been good days and bad ones. I still am not able to watch the videos which my cousins filmed of the wake and funeral. There have been moments of great sadness and moments of thankfulness for the wonderful father, husband and man he was. My mum is extremely sad and I know my brother has his own moments.

Over the next few blog posts, I want to share some memories of my beloved Daddy and process his passing for myself. This is not to get sympathy or any attention, it is simply me processing my thoughts and emotions; creating more memories for myself.

These are the words I said on that first evening service of the wake:

Thank you all for coming. It means a great deal to know that my dad is well-loved.

Most of you know my dad quite well. For those of you who aren’t as familiar, I want to tell you a bit about him.

He was a loving husband; every night he would make my mum a cup of tea after dinner, without fail, until his poor health stopped him. A wonderful father, he did his best to make sure my brother and I had whatever we needed to go as far as we wanted. A delightful grandfather who loved carrying his grandson on his shoulders. A caring brother, uncle and friend; offering a helping hand and kindness whenever someone needed it. He was a man who worked very hard to give his family the best he could afford because he had very little in his growing-up years.

I hope that you will hold onto whatever beautiful memories of the times you have shared with my dad. Thank you.

There were so many other things I wanted to say; little things such as him teaching me to fry the perfect sunny-side-up egg, putting me on a tall stool and making me draw the big tree on the hill across from our flat, him always driving me wherever I needed to go (he was a taxi driver and a very knowledgable one).

My dad would go to all lengths to make sure we got the education we needed; he went to speak to my brother’s technical teacher personally to make sure he understood how to help, he would search high and low for the various things I needed for my many projects at school. It wasn’t just academics; he passed on much of his knowledge of various know-how to my brother and I so that we could always fix basic things and more, if necessary.

My dad loved my mum so dearly; he would always make sure we remember to get her birthday present and never make her angry. He always deferred to her opinions and put her needs before his. He could never afford very much but whatever he did have, he spent on us. My favourite watch is a very plain one which my dad bought for me just one day when we were out walking around – it has a white face with the outline of a cute piggy – my dad’s nickname is Tur Kia (Hokkien), meaning piglet. It hasn’t worked in a number of years but I still have it and will always keep it.

I am grateful I got to spend time with him in his last days on this earth, even if it was at the hospital the whole time. I am who I am because my Daddy loved so deeply.

We miss you, Daddy.

syc