Category: Thoughts

Things that i think about or occur to me as i live life…

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Glass Children…

What are glass children? They are ‘normal’ children with special needs siblings.

i heard this term for the very first time a few months ago when i watched a TedX Video from their event in San Antonio. It was a talk presented by Alicia Arenas. She herself was a glass child.

This is her definition of glass children from her website, Sanera People Development Company:

Glass children are healthy children who have brothers or sisters with special needs. They are typically emotionally neglected, experience severe pressure to be problem-free and perfect, take on parental responsibilities within the family at a young age and have an overwhelming need to make others happy. All this while receiving little nurturing and support in their development years.

i like how she said that glass children are actually very strong because of what they have to go through in their unique family situations. But it was sad to hear how much pain she went through. Her parents, and others around her didn’t know, because she was the “perfect” child, she was a good girl, doing whatever she can to make her parents happy; she knew that she had to stay out of trouble because her parents were overwhelmed needing to care for her 2 special needs brothers. She always said she was fine when in fact she was not. She was dying inside, needing attention, love and care.

At the end of her talk, she talked about 1 mile per hour wind; a wind which is near calm and only slightly bends a little blade of grass, a wind which can change the trajectory of a bullet by 15 inches. She appealed to the people in the audience to be that 1 mile per hour wind and make a difference in the life of a glass child.

This is an updated photo – about a month ago… she needs her family to come for her today…

While you consider being that 1 mile per hour wind for a glass child, i ask you to also consider being that near calm wind for my lovely Heather.

In a way, Heather is like the glass child among other special needs children. She is perfectly healthy with the exception of that extra chromosome; she has Down Syndrome. But because she only has that one medical condition and very little other information about her on her profile, i think that she may not be receiving as much attention as she should.

This month (September) she turns 11. No one to celebrate for her. No one to bake her a cake, let alone blow out candles with her.

i am celebrating for her by doing a post for her every Monday in September; praying and hoping this will get her the attention she needs; maybe her forever family will finally find her.

Please join me in praying for Heather. Praying for her daily needs and most importantly, praying for a loving family to come and bring her home.

As you look at her picture, think about her situation. Could you be the family who could help her grow up into the wonderful girl i know she is inside? If you think so, then do send an email to Reece’s Rainbow to enquire about her.

Last but not least, she has a very small adoption grant at the moment. You can help it grow by going to her profile page (click on her name or picture) and use the Donate button to contribute towards it. An international adoption can cost anywhere from US$20,000 to US$40,000. A larger adoption grant will help her forever family reach her sooner.

Thank you so much.

syc

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Learning a New Language…

… How long does it take?

Well, i’m almost certain that if you ask ten different people, you will likely get various answers, including the well-known and well-used “It depends…”

Depends on what? Well, lots of things – age of learner, hours and frequency of lessons, whether the language is used daily, whether the learner is using a method suited to him etc…

Why am i talking about this? Well, because i read this article “How Long Does it Take to Learn a New Language?” by Dr. S.E. Eaton. It was an interesting read, a bit technical for a lay-person though, but still a good read.

Plus, we are coming up to finishing our 10th year here in Switzerland! Yes, 10 years in September! Amazing, huh? Time has just flown by. i can still remember myself on that very first train ride from Zürich airport to Solothurn, a place that has been home for the last 3560 days (minus vacations). i remember being all excited and taking everything in with the eyes of a newborn babe. Then getting hit hard with the language barrier.

i have always found language learning to be quite difficult, even when i was in school and we had to learn a second language. (For my non-singaporean readers) In Singapore, the language of instruction in schools is English. Everyone is also required to learn a second language, usually based on your race or these days the language chosen by your inter-racial parents. So being Chinese, i learnt Chinese, or Mandarin as it is properly known. i was never very good at it even though i have had 13 years of study in it; always scraping by with just the minimum passing grade.

However, i take comfort in what Dr. Eaton says in her article:

“Learning a second language for 95 hours per year for six years will not lead to functional bilingualism and fluency in the second language. Expectations must be realistic.” (Archibald et al., 2007, p. 3)

OK, so i had twice that but still it was not a language i spoke outside of my Chinese class so i never progressed to “expert” level. Of course, i can converse in it. But i, personally, judge expertise in a language to mean that one can discuss politics , environmental issues and religion with ease. i can talk about the weather, shopping, children/school issues and general small talk, but that’s about all.

i think my German is at about the same level as my Chinese, maybe even better, as i can read in German better than i can in Chinese. (If you ever tried to learn Chinese, you will understand that without constant practice and exposure, reading Chinese is very very difficult. There is no guessing through phonetically trying to sound out the word. You just have to know the word.)

Look at all the German Language learning materials i have amassed over the years…

So how many hours of lessons did it take me to arrive at being conversational in German?

Let’s see, i have had roughly 6 years or a little more of weekly German instruction. 2 hours a week. Minus holidays. That’s about 76 hours a year for 6 years… equals 456 hours, give or take some.

In Dr. Eaton’s article, she puts up a very simplified way of calculating the time needed to become an expert in a language . Apparently, research experts have decided on the “10,000 hours to be an expert” rule for language learning. So i take comfort in that i will need another 9544 hours of classes till expert level.

But of course, this does not take into account other factors, such as learning method, ability, immersion etc…

My German did not make any significant leap until Tobias went to Kindergarten and i got to interact with other parents and the teacher on an almost daily basis in German. Then it clicked, the hours of lessons in crazy German grammar made some sense and my vocabulary was built up. And i found speaking the language no longer embarrassed me. i finally got the hang of it after i really put myself out there and immersed myself in hearing and using the language.

So what’s the point of this whole post?

Well, i wanted to encourage those who are struggling to learn a new language… hang in there, keep practicing, keep making mistakes and you will get there. Be brave, speak that language you are trying to learn, it’s the only way to get there. It took me many years and many hours of lessons to get to conversational (i’m really slow at languages.) so it will happen for you too – just keep using the language.

Have a lovely weekend.

syc

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The Greatest Fortress…

What is a Fortress? Well, the Collins English Dictionary online defines it as:

— n
1. a large fort or fortified town
2. a place or source of refuge or support

i like the sound of that – a place of refuge or support. Don’t you?

Some time ago, i read about a place of refuge and support, a stronghold for everyone. That’s right for everyone, for everyone who would recognise that it is a great fortress. It is a source of comfort i have known for a while now.

What am i talking about? i’m talking about Prayer! Prayers to the Lord God Almighty, to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ is my fortress. And it can be anyone’s fortress who will and can pray to Him, who will and knows how to bring their problems to Him. He is there for us, day and night to protect us, if we accept Him and let Him into our lives.

You can read the whole article here: The Greatest Fortress « The Daily Way.

But what about people who don’t know about God? What if they live in a place where God is not mentioned? What if they themselves can not understand enough to accept God? People like the little orphans i pray and advocate for.

Well, that’s where we, the people who can pray come in, we can pray for these precious ones who are unable to or don’t know how to raise their voices in prayer. We stand in the gap for them. We pray to God on their behalf.

Little Brandi will turn 5 in a few days and needs her forever family today.

And today i pray specifically for little Brandi. Isn’t her smile absolutely radiant? i smile just looking her laughing face.

However, life isn’t all that rosy for her. She will be turning 5 on Friday, this Friday, August 31. But she will have no one who will celebrate it with her and for her. She lives in an orphanage, in a country where orphans with disabilities are transferred to an adult mental institution when they are between the ages of 4 and 6. Which means Brandi faces transfer to a place where there is no future for her, a place where there is only four walls and nothing else. Such a place is not for children! It is not even suitable for mentally disable adults. It is a place where they will regress. To put it bluntly, it is a fortress of despair.

Brandi would do so very well in a loving family environment, they would be her fortress of refuge and support. She has CP (Cerebral Palsy) and microcephaly, but is physically active. She has hearing problems and developmental problems. But these are all treatable and manageable if she lives in a country with better medical care and better understanding of her conditions.

So i stand in the gap for Brandi today. Will you stand with me? Will you pray with me for her daily needs, for her forever family to come for her today?

Maybe you feel that tug in your heart – are you her family?

Or maybe you can give hope by donating to her adoption grant, which is really low at the moment. A higher adoption grant means that she will get more notice and the family who does come for her will reach her faster. Click on her name or picture to go to her profile page.

Do also remember to stand in the gap for my little Heath and my lovely Heather.

syc